Stumbling Forward

by Nicholas Wells

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1.
Sometimes I find myself lost in space Counting the stars and the people I’ve known Every light shines for a long lost face I’m tracing the sky through the years that I’ve grown And I may not live forever but I will remember All of the days gone by And as I’m looking backward we’re stumbling forward Writing a story across the sky You can’t stop the world from turning You can’t stop the years from flying away And so many stars have stopped burning But they still light the sky at the end of the day And I may not live forever but I will remember All of the days gone by And as I’m looking backward we’re stumbling forward Writing a story across the sky Sometimes I’m down Sometimes I’m fighting to survive It’s beautiful now I know it’s all just part of being alive And I may not live forever but I will remember All of the days gone by And as I’m looking backward we’re stumbling forward Writing a story across the sky
2.
It’s how I don’t know so much about you But when you look at me it feels just like I do And that you notice something between us Like maybe I was meant to someday be with you But I can’t tell you I want you I can’t say that I need you So I just try to convince myself That you are just Another beautiful girl And I don’t need to hold you You’re just another beautiful girl Has anybody told you ‘Cause I’ve never said you knock me dead And I can’t get your face out of my head. Have you ever thought about it Am I crazy or is something really there But we could never be together That’s why I’ll do my best pretending I don’t care But I can’t tell you I want you I can’t say that I need you So I just try to convince myself That you are just Another beautiful girl And I don’t need to hold you You’re just another beautiful girl Has anybody told you ‘Cause I’ve never said you knock me dead And I can’t get your face out of my head. Oh ‘cause if I ever came ‘round knocking at your door You’d never really know who I was waiting for Should I take a chance and turn this life around Or keep this secret buried in the ground Oh you’re just another beautiful girl And I don’t need to hold you You’re just another beautiful girl Has anybody told you ‘Cause I’ve never said you knock me dead And I can’t get your face out of my head.
3.
I used to believe that believing is all that you need That you pick a road and imagine a place it’ll lead And give it your all ‘cause you know that you’ll soon be there And when everyone says it’s so hard, yeah you just shouldn’t care Yeah well all I have is a dream in my pocket And all I know are these songs in my heart All I want is something more than this, yeah All I want is something more than this I used to believe that a dream isn’t just for pretend That you can just make up a way for your story to end And try to be noticed when everyone’s doing the same Yeah and spend every day hoping someone remembers your name Yeah and all I have is a dream in my pocket And all I know are these songs in my heart All I want is something more than this, yeah All I want is something more than this I’ve heard you can be whatever you want to be If you only believe And make any wish come true so easily But it’s just never happened to me. And all I have is a dream in my pocket And all I know is it never comes true And all I want is something more than this All I want is something more than this
4.
Driving you home from our lunch on a Tuesday Close to your exit it started to rain So I’ve pulled us over to wait, just as you say And I won’t complain It’s hard to believe that we’re just about over And all I can do is pretend I’m okay And reach out my arms and pull you near Without wiping your tears away But holding you here as you cry on my shoulder All that I want is to never let go Falling apart, yeah we’re both getting older I’m suddenly somebody new Who still loves you I don’t want to go, I just don’t want to lose you I can’t imagine trying to move on But who are we now, can we have what we used to It seems it’s already gone. But holding you here as you cry on my shoulder All that I want is to never let go Falling apart, yeah we’re both getting older I’m suddenly somebody new How can I even try to Say goodbye to the last six years Or tell myself not to need you When I’m screaming inside, wondering how did we ever get here Falling apart, yeah we’re both getting older I’m suddenly somebody new Yeah holding you here as you cry on my shoulder All that I want is to never let go Falling apart, yeah we’re both getting older I’m suddenly somebody new Who still loves you Driving you home from our lunch on a Tuesday Close to your exit it started to rain
5.
I’m not sleeping I’m not in bed ‘Cause tomorrow’s spinning Around in my head And all the years I carry Fall away When it’s after midnight And still the same day ‘Cause I live in the midnight hours When all the world’s black and white Where I am who I’ve always been And time stops to let me in Just for the night There’ll always be a child Inside of me And there’ll always be nighttime When I can be free And in my lifetime I may roam But in the quiet moonlight I’ll find my way home ‘Cause I live in the midnight hours When all the world’s black and white Where I am who I’ve always been And time stops to let me in Just for the night
6.
I never thought you’d ever let me see your face again And I’ve survived on memories since I don’t even know when I never told you anything, I’ll bet you haven’t a clue That even after all this time I can’t let go of you. Well I had hoped that everything about you’d come to change And I could heal my aching heart with the words that we’d exchange But evermore you’re sinking in, you caught me by surprise And I’m afraid I’ve lost the world when I look in your eyes. How can I convince myself that it’s not meant to be When trying not to be in love is hard enough for me I would have given anything to just end up with you My hands are tied, I’ve lost it all, there’s nothing I can do Well I’ve been damned to misery if this is how it ends You sit here looking beautiful as we learn to be friends I can’t begin to tell you how so much of me has died And how I’ll slowly turn to ash and burn to death inside How can I convince myself that it’s not meant to be When trying not to be in love is hard enough for me I would have given anything to just end up with you My hands are tied, I’ve lost it all, there’s nothing I can do And I’ve been keeping this so long It’s every word it’s every song And time is nothing but a slow decay I really don’t know how to be To live my life unhappily And nothing feels like it can be okay Again We lift our empty coffee cups and walk out into the street I say it’s so nice seeing you, I’m glad that we could meet It’s just so perfect how the clouds have turned the sky to grey And how I didn’t notice till you turned to walk away How can I convince myself that it’s not meant to be When trying not to be in love is hard enough for me I would have given anything to just end up with you My hands are tied, I’ve lost it all, there’s nothing I can do
7.
Please move on Find someone Let me see that you’re happy Without me ‘Cause here I am Where I’ve always been And the world moves like crazy Around me ‘Cause even though everything’s changing And nothing ‘round here is the same to me Here in my heart you will always be Let me know You don’t care You don’t stop to remember Us together I’ve tried so hard For so long To stop dreaming about you I don’t know how to ‘Cause even though everything’s changing And nothing ‘round here is the same to me Here in my heart you will always be ‘Cause I still imagine the ways We’d be spending our days If I had never said goodbye ‘Cause even though everything’s changing And nothing ‘round here is the same to me Here in my heart you will always be
8.
And every year feels like it was yesterday Still yesterday’s over and done And how could I know it all would go away And leave me here without anyone Everyone I’ve known has left or gone crazy I didn’t have time to say goodbye Was trying to hard just to save me From all the tears I’ve yet to cry And I’m a million miles from anywhere I’m a man without a home Just a boat out on an endless sea Sailing all alone So what the hell am I supposed to do When everything is falling through I’m stolen from the life that I once knew What do you do when you’ve got nowhere to turn And nobody there to shield your eyes I’m watching the life around me crash and burn And every day’s a new surprise And I’m a million miles from anywhere I’m a man without a home Just a boat out on an endless sea Sailing all alone So what the hell am I supposed to do When everything is falling through I’m stolen from the life that I once knew Just trying to find some shelter as it all goes wrong I’ve lost so many battles but I’m standing strong And someday I’ll forget the pain inside my heart And move along And every year feels like it was yesterday Still yesterday’s over and done And I’m a million miles from anywhere I’m a man without a home Just a boat out on an endless sea Sailing all alone So what the hell am I supposed to do When everything is falling through I’m stolen from the life that I once knew
9.
I’ve got a feeling we’re forever I’ve got a feeling it’s for good I can’t imagine saying goodbye I can’t live without you, I don’t wanna try And I’ve gotta kiss you every morning I’ve gotta fall asleep by your side And live anywhere, I don’t really care As long as I know that you’ll always be there Well I don’t know what the future holds But my love is certain No matter whatever down the road we see You will never be losing me I’ve got a feeling now and always We will be happy the rest of our lives ‘Cause I’ve got a smile that won’t disappear If I can come home to you year after year Well I don’t know what the future holds But my love is certain No matter whatever down the road we see You will never be losing me I’ve got a feeling we’re forever I’ve got a feeling we’re forever
10.
So Glad 03:40
Hey Years ago I anted for a hand And now the cards have left me where I stand Not where I planned And she She believes there’s nothing I can’t be Whenever I’ve lost confidence in me She helps me see That it’s a waste to be unhappy There’s not time for feeling sad I’ve got her love, it’s just for me And I’m so glad And me I’ve been shooting for a star And sometimes I lose sight of where we are We’ve come so far And she She’s the reason I’m still going strong If I hadn’t had her with me all along I’d be so gone It’s a waste to be unhappy There’s not time for feeling sad I’ve got her love, it’s just for me And I’m so glad And I wonder How does a life bring just who you need When you’re older Why is the world starting to pick up speed For a young boy Learning that nothing in life is ever guaranteed But it’s a waste to be unhappy There’s not time for feeling sad I’ve got her love, it’s just for me Yeah and I’m so glad
11.
The Hardest 04:08
I used to kneel down praying But no one heard, it seems Everything was telling me Follow your dreams I’ll never understand it I’ll always wonder why You can always lose No matter how hard you try Well I thought I was dreaming I was just wasting time Living this life like it’s meant to be mine But there’s no hope for nothing And nothing at all When the hardest you wish is the hardest you fall When someone else is winning Someone’s playing fair The rules don’t really matter When life doesn’t care I’ll try to keep believing I’ll wake up safe and sound I’ll try to face the world As it’s beating me down Well I thought I was dreaming I was just wasting time Living this life like it’s meant to be mine But there’s no hope for nothing And nothing at all When the hardest you wish is the hardest you fall Oh, look at me now Smiling to keep myself moments from just breaking down And oh, isn’t it weird How everything you could hope for could just disappear Well I thought I was dreaming I was just wasting time Living this life like it’s meant to be mine But there’s no hope for nothing And nothing at all When the hardest you wish is the hardest you fall

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released October 6, 2015

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